Tuesday, May 10, 2011

at what point should your weight become a problem...when your dick disappears into the abyss that is your ass, taint, and muffin top; or long before you and your dick part less than amicable terms. if you have to throttle the toilet like you're ridding a mechanical bull and hope that your dick is pointing downwards and not at your leg, there might be a problem. if you have to sit on the toilet to take a piss, there's probably definitely a problem. from the mere reality that if you can't see your cock, you probably haven't had any quality interaction with it in some time, either from old righty or from some fat, unattractive female reciprocal of yourself. ok, now i'm the first to indulge in some delicious goodness...but for fucks sake, find some balance. its not a snack if you eat the whole box of twinkies...its a god damn binge. i don't expect six pack abs or 10% body fat, but god damn, get off your ass and go for a walk once in a while; or ease up a bit and instead of the two dozen wings caked in bbq sauce, grab a dozen; and the next time you're in line at mcdonalds, 10 dollars on the dollar menu is excessive. find some balance for christ sake. instead of 12 diet cokes a day, cut back to one or two and have a glass of water when you're thirsty. ok. that's my rant about fat, lazy fucks. make a change. or don't, and plan to have diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, and a bakers dozen of cancer.

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